Sunday, April 13, 2008

The VIP

Clubbing in a big city can be both ego boosting and soul shattering. Certain clubs have a full on asshole policy. They hire meat heads to decide who gets in and who doesn't. Here's the trick to clubbing... you have to look like you know exactly where you are going and why. If you show the least bit of doubt, kiss your entrance goodbye. Bouncers are like animals, you have to show no fear. If they fold to your bluff they'll let you in... if they tell you "there's a private party this evening and it's not possible", go home. There is no use arguing unless you "know someone". The worst are the group of 6 guys all wearing Drakkar Noir over the same suits they wore all day. They yell at the bouncer like he gives a shit and make fools out of themselves. Sorry bro, swallow your pride and take the polyester home... No honky tonk for you.


For models its wayyyy different. They can wear big white 80's reeboks and plaid jackets and not only are they let in through the side with no wait, but they also get free bottles of booze at their table. Ah... the tables. The comfy playground for the creme de la creme. These are the people who not only get in with no trouble (models and non-models included) but get a luxuriously huge table in a sectioned off lounge, which in most places is a step or two higher than the rest of club just in case they need an extra ego boost with a pedestal. 

Normally the site of a VIP table with gorgeous people will give anyone whiplash, but in Paris, EVERY table is full of gorgeous people. There are more models in clubs than there are in Vogue. Everyone from the DJ to the waiter to the girl dancing on the table all night long is an aspiring someone... actress, model, musician. Everyone wants the VIP table, everyone wants the free booze.

But as with all things in life, it's just not fair. So until you come back looking like Karolina Kourkova in your next life, strut up like you own the place and if need be drop a name, any name, but do it with confidence. Confuse and you will reign. Remember, if bouncers were any smarter they'd be wrestlers.
 

No comments: